Mittwoch, 02.06.2021

Von draußen kommt ein bisschen was rein, hier ins Atelier, das noch im Schatten des Mittags liegt. Was ist zu vernehmen out there? Das in jeden Sonnentag eingebaute sanfte Weltrauschen, und das beruhigende Summen der Leuchtröhren Osram Lumilux über mir, am Tisch. Ich esse ein Stück Rhabarberstreusel, dann kurzes Gemiaue des Kätzchens vom Balkon des Hauses nebenan. Der Balkon ist rundum mit einem Netz bespannt, das Kätzchen habe ich schon öfter gesehen, wie es da einfach sitzt und miaut, oder nur vom Balkon herunterschaut. Können auch diese Tiere so seinsvergessen in die Unendlichkeit stieren, durch alle Jahrhunderte, durch die Realitäten der Flakhelfergeneration (Krebber), der Boomer und der Z’s hindurch? Warum soll denn nicht auch dieses Felltier wütend sein können, auf die allgemeine Scheiße? Oder empfindet jede Katze das Leben als eine Wucht?

In der Schweiz kann jeder eine Postkarte pro Tag kostenlos versenden!

Samstag, 29.05.2021

VIELE DEUTSCHE SIND JETZT SCHON DAFÜR

Knietief in Cobras Texten. Nicht mal Zeit, all den Zaster auszugeben, den ich mit dem Schnelltest-Zentrum gemacht habe. Meine Eltern berichten, sie haben bereits die erste Salaternte aus ihrem neuen, mit dem Vermieter zusammen angelegten Gewächshaus auf dem Teller liegen. Gerüchte besagen, es sollen noch “fünf Hühner” zur unmittelbaren Peripherie des Gewächshauses dazu kommen.

Michael Krebber von der Polizei verhaftet und ins Gefängnis, weil er ständig die Grenzen des Mediums der Malerei in Frage stellt und ewig auf Konfrontation aus ist.

16:18h. Vor einem Jahr, heute, habe ich mich das erste Mal mit L. getroffen. Ich sehe es noch vor mir, wie sie mir ihren Blick zuwendet, wie sie vor der Werbetafel steht, fast ganz in weiß und mit den schönen dunkelbraunen Haaren, und die Leute an ihr vorbeigehen. Es ist fast zu viel, was ich noch weiß. Seit Tagen schon sendet mir mein Bewusstseinsstrom Fetzen und Brocken diesbezüglich. Es will mich zwingen, irgendwas dazu zu finden, zu fühlen, im Nachhinein, jetzt, ausgehend davon, wie es geendet ist, mir irgendwas zusammenzubauen aus den Erinnerungen und, vor allem, den Dingen, die nie gesagt wurden. Ich weigere mich, bin aber auch angestrengt davon, es kostet mich etwas, saugt mir etwas ab. Ich spreche mit niemandem darüber. Ich bin nicht komplett frei von Empfindungen für sie, für die Person, die sie, sehr wahrscheinlich, immer noch ist, klar. Das von den “allgemeinen Umständen” extrem verkleinerte Spektrum an Menschen, die man das letzte Jahr sehen, treffen, geschweige denn kennenlernen, mögenlernen konnte, tut sein Übriges. Der Strahl an Licht ist enger gebündelt als sonst.

Dienstag, 25.05.2021

IT SMELLED SO GOOD, THE COCOLATE ROOM.

Alle 25. Mais (nicht in Dosen) aus The Andy Warhol Diaries – Edited by Pat Hackett:

Wednesday, May 25, 1977 – Paris

Arrived in Paris around 9 A.M.. Went to Fred’s apartment on Rue du Cherche-Midi. All Fred’s chic antiques are looking more and more like just junk covered in rags. William Burke arrived with breakfast.

Did Interviews with Le Monde, Le Figaro, and Elle that’d been arranged by Flammarion, our French publisher. Then it was to go to the Beaubourg to sign Philosophy books at their bookshop (cab $5).

Shirley Goldfarb came, and Daniel Templom came, he’s giving the Hammer & Sickle show next Tuesday, and about 100 dirty kids in punk clothes.

Pontus Hulten, the director of the Beaubourg, showed up and took us on a tour. First we went into the big Tinguely sculpure being constructed in the middle of the ground floor. He took us to a storeroom stuffed with chocolate and gave us some. It smelled so good, the cocolate room. Then we saw the Kienholz show and then the Paris/New York show opening next week and the permanent collection. This took two hours and Bob was passing out but I had energy and wanted to just rush home and paint and stop doing society portraits.

Thursday, May 25, 1978 – Zurich

Up at 7:00 craving soft-boiled eggs, tipped waiter ($2). Got some newspapers ($1). Went to the Kunst Museum for a press conference (cab $4). I didn’t have to talk, they were just taking photos. It was hard to look at a retrospective, I just pretended to look at the walls. I can’t face my old work. It was old. Had to sign a lot of Soup Cans, portfolios, stuff like that. That lasted about two hours. Peter Brant never sent his pictures.

Monday, May 25, 1981 – East Falmouth – New York

Took the plane ride back from Hyannis to LaGuardia. Everyone was eating peanuts and popcorn, and all of a sudden the plane actually really flipped over and I didn’t care if we would have killed ourselves, because I was so unhappy. I’d thought that this trip would bring some progress with Jon, but it didn’t. He’d left us to go see his family who really adore him. Oh, but from now on I can’t talk personally about Jon to the Diary because when I told him I did, he got mad and told me not to ever do it again, that if I ever put anything personal about him in the Diary he’d stop seeing me. So from now on, it’ll just be the business angle in the Diary – he’ll just be a person who works for Paramount Pictures who I’m trying to do scripts and movies with.

I gave a tip to the airplane driver ($100). And tipped the limousine driver ($20).

Got a call from Tina Chow inviting me to a party for David Bailey and his wife Marie. It turned out it was actually a big party. Marie is really beautiful, she had one of those slit dresses. Eric Boman and Peter Schlesinger were there. I told everybody how I was a male model now, I was trying to hustle work. Jerry Hall came over and told how to suck cock and lick pussy and she told some jokes and it was fun, and then David started telling jokes. Paloma Picasso was there and she gave me a big kiss.

Friday, May 25, 1984

I called and screamed about that picture of Jean Michel in the Dolly Parton issue because it was so awful – cut in that arty way. And when I screamed Gael said Fred had done it, so I called and screamed at Fred and he said it was something that he’d done especially personally.

Robert Hayes is still in the hospital. John Reinhold called him but Robert’s mother wouldn’t let John talk to him. He still had a temperature. His family’s been here for one and a half months. The hospital bill is going to be so big. I guess Blue Cross pays for 80 percent, but still. It must be like $500 a day.

Saturday, May 25, 1985

Walked to work. Kenny Scharf came by. And he said he doesn’t know what to do because he likes to feel free and do whatever he wants but he does love Teresa and the baby, but he feels he has to have that free feeling. So Kenny was there for hours and then left at 7:00.

Andy you know, in the pizza place next to the office on 33rd Street, the one that’s owned by Koreans or Chinese, it was so sad, because they were cleaning up and throwing out all the stuff from, maybe, the basement, books and things, and I wanted to go through it all but I didn’t. And this woman was holding these two big white dogs and I don’t know if she belonged there or if she didn’t. You don’t know about people. Everybody just does their own stuff on their own scale. There was a naked baby in the middle of the floor.